The Beauty Of Families Walking Together

Before we get to today’s article, I just want to mention that am writing from the perspective of a man that has experienced many of the challenges of which I write…. and those spiritual battles continue daily. The articles are implications of what it means to obey the commandment to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They require some reflection and are particularly for Christians who, as Peter would say, are diligently seeking to confirm their calling and are making every effort to supplement their faith. Said more succinctly, serious Christians. If you know other believers who desire to walk more faithfully with the Lord, please forward an article to them and tell them to sign up for future articles. Thanks so much!

The Beauty Of Families Walking Together

Last week I attended a wedding where I noticed the friends of the groom were mostly made up of three large families. The ages of these friends spanned from the lates teens to the late twenties and their friendship and bonds were apparent to all who were watching.

I went to the rehearsal lunch as well and during a time when there was an open microphone for comments, I heard again and again each speaker giving thanks for the love and support that these kids (I call them kids because they are 50 years younger than me) had received one to another throughout their young years as they experienced the ups and downs of life together.

As a brief aside, I started to become a little annoyed about so many of the comments that included, “thank you for supporting me.” I never said anything like that to my friends when I was that age. It seemed somewhat self-focused. But I’m rethinking that. First, I believe that this generation needs more emotional and spiritual support than past generations. I believe the reason for this is the daily soup in which our kids live that consists of the rise in sexual and ethical perversion, fed to them by never ceasing impressions on their minds, made available through the internet and social media. Their hearts and minds have no respite from this onslaught, and they knowingly or unknowingly struggle to think normal thoughts daily.

Some of these kids swim fairly well and some sink. And the ones that sink, need a great deal of energy and love to pull them back up. Ideally, the primary source of support would be their parents (and in this case, it is), but the support that comes from peers is powerful. And I’m not talking about the support that you find in the world- you are awesome, follow your heart, or everything will work itself out. I am talking about these kids telling each other, yes, you are a mess, but Christ loves you and He will walk with you through your mess. Or yes, life stinks sometimes, but we are trusting that Christ is in control of the stinky parts as well as the good, and He has a purpose in your suffering. Whatever the situation is, both parents and friends are pointing a friend in need back to thinking about life based on Biblical truth.

The size of the group is about 30 young people, but the core of this group is about 15 kids from the three families I mentioned above. If you saw them in action (and I have seen this at a number of other weddings), you might wonder how this came about. You might want this for your kids. Well, I can give you what I think are the three main reasons:

You might think that they go to the same church, but they don’t. The three families did at times attend the same church, but over the years that changed. However, these 6 parents have almost identical Biblical beliefs. They are aligned theologically.
Based on their understanding of what it means to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, they gave their lives to making Christ central to their everyday teaching in the home. Because of the parents’ goals and commitment to raising the children the same way, the families fellowshipped with each other, and the children grew to love each other and became true Christian friends. The parents did this diligently for 20 years.
They sent their kids to the same Christian school. This further enhanced their children’s knowledge of God, reinforced the parents’ teaching of a Christian worldview, and limited their exposure to the wicked thinking of the world.

Clearly, God orchestrated this through the efforts of the parents and their love for Him, so He gets all the credit. But can you achieve something like this in your own family? What can you do to seek God’s blessing in this way? Here are a few suggestions that I came up with:

Think about other families in or out of your church who may be like-minded in parenting. Meet with them and tell them what you are looking for in your group. Would you be willing to trust them with the care of your children? Can they assist you in schooling your children? Do you trust them enough to allow your children to sleep over? What about what they allow with devices, the internet, streaming shows/movies? What kind of language is permissible in their home? How about modesty issues with the girls?
Where do their children attend school? Is it possible their children will bring something home from school that you don’t want your children to hear or know about?
Have discussions with families that may be a good fit for your group and make sure they know that you expect them to hold you accountable in your parenting. Give them permission to confront you on areas of life where you have sin.
Don’t choose families that you necessarily have fun with. That’s not the greatest priority.

Now with all of that being said, I need to be clear: walking through life in this fallen world can be better when you have others to walk with you. That is what the church is about- loving each other, sharing burdens, being encouraged, etc. However, being part of a close knit group of families so you can successfully navigate the Christian life together, is not absolutely necessary.

With or without the expansion of your family to include others, God has given all of the instruction you need to parent your kids. Remember these truths:

After loving your spouse as commanded to do in Ephesians 5, your next priority in your life is raising your children in accordance with Biblical commands and precepts.
The raising of children flows from your personal obedience to God. You simply can’t raise your children in a God-honoring way if you are dishonoring God in your own life.
If you believe the gospel and the words of Jesus, you will remember that your first mission field is your home. It is to the children whom you witness to daily. They are to see the greatness of the Christian life by your example. In essence, you are showing them Christ in you.
God is good and it is He who gave you your children to raise on His behalf. The Bible says that they areHis Children and when you stand before Christ in the judgment, you will not be asked about or commended for how many times you went to Sunday school or how much you served in the church. It will be about your marriage and your children. It will be about your diligence and your selflessness, and your love for Christ, and only
The greatest thing for you and your children is personal trust and obedience to Christ. There are many examples of people who grew up in the most horrific family circumstances or no family at all, and by God’s grace, became wonderful Christian adults.

Bottom line: Having like minded faithful Christian parents band together can be a wonderful thing and something that I believe is a worthwhile pursuit, but God’s grace abounds to any family who pursues Him with their whole heart, mind, and strength.

Speaking of parents and parenting, I have recorded the famous booklet written by Pastor J.C. Ryle, Duties of Parents. Pastor Ryle gives us 17 points of Christian parenting on which to focus our attention. His words are timeless and apply to parenting today as much as it did 100 years ago. To listen to this wonderful material, click here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-the-duties-of/id1676664853

You can peruse all of the free recordings at the Cherish Ephesians 6:4 Channel here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/channel/cherish-ephesians-6-4/id6449722161

Both of these links are also in the weekly email that you received!