Church leaders, commonly referred to as pastors, elders, deacons, and shepherds, have been given one of the most noble and important tasks on this earth. There can be no doubt that this calling is incredibly demanding, exhausting, and overwhelming, yet through this calling, the faithful man experiences the true riches that far exceeds his labors here on earth.
The standard that Christ has set for his pastors/shepherds is high
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. 1 Timothy 3:1-7
Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. Command and teach these things. 1 Timothy 4:7b-11
Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen. 1 Timothy 6:11b-16
The charge to the Lord’s pastors/shepherds is clear
All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. Matthew 28:18-20
So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.1 Peter 5:1-4
Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher, which is why I suffer as I do. 2 Timothy 1:8-12
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:22-26
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:1-5
The Great Challenge
I believe one of the greatest challenges of our time, if not the greatest challenge, is the challenge to the church to train Christian parents to cherish and obey Ephesians 6:4.
You will find more detail on this website (see State of the Church; State of the Culture; Parent Mandate) but to be brief here, true Christian parenting is being done by relatively few Christian parents and the church and the world around us are suffering the consequences.
During the last 50 years, Satan has been doing a masterful job working to remake our ideas about family, creation, gender, and so much more. With a slow and steady plan, his lies and deceptions have resulted in a steady increase of wickedness in our world while much of the professing Christian community has essentially been asleep at the wheel. The “sleeping potion” that Satan has used is nothing new under the sun. He has majored on and been highly effective by tempting Christians with the sin of good old-fashioned worldliness. Scripture has warned us about loving the world time and time again, but the American Christian has taken many of the blessings that God has given and has chosen to worship the gifts rather than the Giver.
As we know, the Christian cannot love this world and love God at the same time and efforts to do so only result in loving the world. With this love of the world, Christian parents have been too distracted by the demands that worldliness places on a person. Without their affections and trust rooted in our great God, parents find it impossible to have the time and energy needed to take the command of Ephesians 6:4 seriously, and make the God commanded investment into the minds and hearts of their children (See Deuteronomy 6).
When the great Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones preached on this passage over 60 years ago, he was lamenting on the lack of Christian parenting in a serious way and saying that our problems and culture could be blamed on our lack of obeying this commandment. He saw where church had failed and the consequences thereof, but I doubt he foresaw the depth of that where find ourselves today.
So now, after several generations of nominal efforts to obey Ephesians 6:4, we have both children and parents who are Biblically illiterate, trying to walk worthy with only a paper-thin theology. The inevitable result: a weak faith, little ability to discern truth, and little use as salt and light in this world.
However, in light of the manifestly clear decline of the church, church leaders have not changed the gameplan. While the devil is waging a war against our youth with the equivalent of biological weapons, we are using pistols- still doing Sunday school and youth group thinking and hoping that the results will get better. However, we can be sure that we will not see the results that we pray for because we are not raising our children in the way that the Lord has instructed. And He will not be mocked.
What are Christian parents doing/thinking?
Parenting is a theological exercise and reflects what parents know about God and the relationship with God. The current state of Christian parenting is revealing! Here is my short list of unhelpful thinking that I have observed in Christian parents and the implications are devastating to the children and the mission of the church:
- It is reported (Ligonier Ministries Theology survey) that more than 60% of professing evangelical Christians believe that God accepts the worship of all religions, and 40% believe that the Bible has no authority to tell us what to do. This is just the tip of the iceberg pointing to terrible, even heretical views of God.
- Many Christian parents have been trained to think by the secular humanistic culture resulting in a high view of man and a low view of God.
- Many Christian parents do not understand the doctrine of original sin and therefore do not apply the truths about living in a fallen world to their own lives or their children. As a result, there are two critical parenting mistakes that follow. First, parents often behave as if their children are exempt from a sinful nature. Second, parents are often deceived about the spiritual condition of their children because the child is outwardly compliant.
- Christian parents don’t truly believe and understand the ways of the wicked one, thereby being less vigilant over the hearts and minds of their children.
- Christian parents do not see their children as their primary, most important mission field.
- Christian parents strongly believe politics and conservatism will grow God’s Kingdom.
- Christian parents are unwilling to obey the Lord in certain areas of the Christian life if obeying the Lord may result in lost friendships with other adults.
- Christian parents do not endeavor to repeat and apply in the home what a child learns at church.
- Christian parents do not understand that the teaching and philosophy of the secular school is in opposition to God.
- Christian parents do not understand that God is worthy to be worshiped every day in various ways, including family devotions.
Next steps for church leaders
In this section, I realize that some of my comments may not be helpful due to the fact that I am not a pastor and I have not run a church. I certainly do not know you or your church’s situation. However, I pray that there is something here that resonates with truth and is helpful to you and your ministry. That said, my view of what could be next steps.
- Take a fresh look at Ephesians 6:4 with the goal of seeing all that the commandment touches for the advancement of the gospel.
- Make an honest assessment of your church’s situation regarding obedience to Ephesians 6:4. Be as strategic as a serpent (Matt. 10:16). This will require great measures of wisdom from above. Thankfully, you have access to it (James 1:5-8). Any plan for a church to begin to teach and train parents to cherish and obey Ephesians 6:4 must be a long term plan (minimum 10 years) and have a view towards seeing dramatic, God honoring fruit over the next several generations (See Deuteronomy 6 and Judges 2). Remember, we have been sowing to disobedience and reaping what we have sown for 60 years, so it may take 60 years to redeem Christian parenting back to a true Biblical standard.
- Be courageous. If you choose to press this truth into the flock, you must be prepared for both wonderful and terrible consequences. Note the warnings from 2 Timothy 3:1 and 4:1. Remember Colossians 1:24 and the call to rejoice in sufferings for the gospel.
- Be an evangelist. Exhorting parents to cherish and obey Ephesians 6:4 will reveal the hearts of both parents and children in your flock. Remember that a person must first be regenerate before they can cherish and obey God’s word and you may find that a significant number in your congregation may be seeds that fell among thorns (Matthew 13:22). They seemingly became believers at one point, but now that you are pushing them to choose obedience to Christ, they may become some of the greatest evangelism opportunities you have ever had. Again, be strong and courageous. We cannot address Ephesians 6:4 apart from the simultaneously addressing the inability, worldliness, and/or laziness of the parents. This commandment (Ephesians 6:4) cannot be overlooked because it is God’s design that the parents are the key to raising generations of Christ followers.
- Believe the scriptures, but do not try to create something “new and fantastic” that you expect will change hearts and minds apart from the faithful teaching of the scriptures. “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Tim. 3:16-17.”
- Remember that a God pleasing church is not a church that has numerical growth, but a church that has growth in each member’s Christlikeness. When we trust Him and obey His commands, and because God is faithful, we can look toward a day when your church may produce Christians that are like those Paul prayed for in Colossians 1:9-12, “filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.” Those Christians will be salt and light in the world while not falling in love with this world. They will be generations of pastors, civil servants, missionaries, teachers, and workers of all sorts doing their work as unto the Lord.
The idea of a renewed push for God’s people to cherish and obey Ephesians 6:4 is both exciting and overwhelming. May the Lord help us!
